跪求初中英语背诵小短文10篇
狐狸和葡萄
One hot summer day a fox was walking through an orchard. He stopped before a bunch of grapes. They were ripe and juicy.
"I'm just feeling thirsty," he thought. So he backed up a few paces, got a running start, jumped up, but could not reach the grapes.
He walked back. One, two, three, he jumped up again, but still, he missed the grapes.
The fox tried again and again, but never succeeded. At last he decided to give it up.
He walked away with his nose in the air, and said“I am sure they are sour.”
●一个炎热的夏日，狐狸走过一个果园，他停在一大串熟透而多汁的葡萄前。
●狐狸想：“我正口渴呢。”于是他后退了几步，向前一冲，跳起来，却无法够到葡萄。
●狐狸后退又试。一次，两次，三次，但是都没有得到葡萄。
●狐狸试了一次又一次，都没有成功。最后，他决定放弃，他昂起头,边走边说：“葡萄还没有成熟，我敢肯定它是酸的。”
寓意: 在经历了许多尝试而不能获得成功的时候，有些人往往故意轻视成功，以此来寻求心理安慰。
In The Air
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy(吝啬) and hated spending money. One day a fair(集市) came to the nearby town.
“Let’s go to the fair, Matt,” his wife said, “We haven’t been anywhere for a long time.”
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, “All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything.”
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy ,but he would not let her spend any money.
Then , in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
“Fun flight!” the notice said, “$10 for 10 minutes.”
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
“I’ve only got $10,” he told the pilot. ( 飞行员). “Can my wife come with me for free?” The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said , “I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight.”
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
When the plane landed , the pilot said, “O.K. your wife didn’t make a sound . She can have her ride free.”
“Thank you,” Matt said. “it wasn’t easy for her, you know , especi ally (尤其 ) when she fell out.”
译文：
Matt和他的老婆住在乡下。Matt十分吝啬及怕花钱。有一天，隔壁村有举办了一个集市。
“让我们去集市吧，Matt,”他老婆说，“我们很长时间没有出去了。”Matt想了一会儿。他知道他去集市会花钱。最后他说，“好的。不过我将不会花很多钱。我们只看，不买。”
他们去了集市看要买的东西。那里有很多东西Matt的老婆想买，但是他不让她花一分钱。
过了一会，在旁边的一块地上，他们看见了一架小飞机。
“有趣的飞行！”有个提示上写着，“花十块钱玩十分钟。”
Matt从来没有坐过飞机，所以他想玩这个。但是，他又不想为他老婆付钱玩。
“我只有10块钱。”他告诉飞行员。“可不可以让我老婆免费坐？”飞行员不是卖票的。所以他回答：“我给你个优惠。如果你老婆不乱喊乱叫，她就可以免费坐飞机。”
Matt同意了，跟他老婆一起上了飞机。
飞行员表演了各种技能。其中有一个是倒过来飞。当飞机落地时，飞行员说，“很好，你老婆没有出声音，她可以免费。“
“谢谢。”Matt说，“这对她来说不容易。你知道么？特别是当她掉出去的时候。”
One day, a teacher took his pupils to a chicken farm to pay a visit. When they came near the incubator, chick just got out of its egg shell.
一天，老师带学生到养鸡场参观，当他们走近孵化器时，刚好一只小鸡破壳而出。
"It's wonderful to see a little thing come out from the egg shell, isn't it？" the teacher said.
“看见一个小生命从蛋壳里出来，岂不是很奇妙的吗？”老师说。
"Yes, sir." said one of the boys, " but it would be more wonderful if we knew how a chick gets in to its eggs hell before hand."
“是的，老师。”一个男学生说，“可是，如果我们知道它是怎样事先钻进蛋壳里的那就更奇妙了。”
Good and evil 善与恶
Weak forces of good and evil was expelled to the sky. Asked Zeus is good at, how can we return to earth to. Zeus told him that we should not and go, one by one of the world to visit it. Evil and people very close, so one after another to find them. Good because down from the sky, on the very slow to very slow.
力量弱小的善,被恶赶走到了天上。善于是问宙斯,怎样才能回到人间去。宙斯告诉他,大家不要一起去,一个一个的去访问人间吧。恶与人很相近,所以接连不断地去找他们。善因为从天上下来,所以就来得很慢很慢。
A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river." He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them. Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
【译文】 一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好贫饮，他说：“我不计划吃那些贫饮，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我特别好吃的东西。”接着他拿起贫饮，一把扔到土里去。 他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，接着他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能度过河。” 他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到贫饮，特别开心地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。 不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有效果处。
Fox and cock one morning a fox sees a cock. He thinks "This is my breakfast.'' He comes up to the cock and says "I know you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away. The people in the field see the fox.They cry,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.'' The fox opens his mouth ang says,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
狐狸和公鸡 一天早上，一只狐狸看到了一侄耀鸡。他想：这是我的早餐。 他朝公鸡走来，对他说：“我知道，你能唱得很好听，你能唱给我听么？”公鸡特别开心。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。 在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：“看，看！狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生，你能理解么？人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的，不是他们的。” 狐狸张开她的嘴说：“公鸡是我的，不是你们的。”就在那时，。公鸡跑到了树底下。
The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
【译文】 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫特别老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇特别生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了特别多年，还而且愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
The City Mouse and the Country Mouse Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city." The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid. After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."
【译文】 城里老鼠和乡下老鼠 从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好好友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。特别多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家瞧瞧。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把全部最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为啥住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，而且会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家瞧瞧。” 乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见特别大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。 过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。”
Isn't it funny how two people will often think of the same thing at the same time, and neither one know that the other is thinking of it? That is just what happened the day that Buster Bear first thought of going berrying. While he was walking around in the Green Forest, talking to himself about how hungry he was for some berries and how sure he was that there must be some up in the Old Pasture, some one else was thinking about berries and about the Old Pasture too.
"Will you make me a berry pie if I will get the berries to-morrow?" asked Farmer Brown's boy of his mother.
Of course Mrs. Brown promised that she would, and so that night Farmer Brown's boy went to bed very early that he might get up early in the morning, and all night long he dreamed of berries and berry pies. He was awake even before jolly, round, red Mr. Sun thought it was time to get up, and he was all ready to start for the Old Pasture when the first Jolly Little Sunbeams came dancing across the Green Meadows. He carried a big tin pail, and in the bottom of it, wrapped up in a piece of paper, was a lunch, for he meant to stay until he filled that pail, if it took all day.
【译文】这不是很可笑的两个人往往会认为同样的事情在同一时间，任何一方都知道，另一个是它的思想呢？这是刚刚发生的事情的一天，熊先巴斯特去berrying思 想。当他走在绿森林，自言自语他是如何渴望一些浆果和如何确定他是必须有一些在旧牧场，另外一个人在想浆果和对太旧帕斯彻。
“你让我一个浆果馅饼，如果我将得到浆果明天？”问农民布朗对他母亲的男孩。
My family
I love my family, because I have a happy family.
My father is an English teacher. His name is Jacky. He is thirty-eight. He likes playing basketball. What’s my mother job? Is she a teacher? Yes, you’re right! My mother is very kind and nice, she is thirty-seven. My mother is always laborious work. I love my parents!
On Saturday and Sunday, I often go to the library and play the piano, My father go to play basketball. Sometimes, we watch TV and listen to music at home.
I love my family. Because I’m very happy to live with my parents together!
我的家庭
我爱我的家庭,因为我有一个快乐的家庭.
我的爸爸是一名英语教师,他的名字叫Jacky.他今年38岁.他非常喜欢打篮球.我的妈妈是赶什么呢?她是一名教师吗?是的.你说对了!我的妈妈是一个很亲切、友善的人,她今年37岁.我妈妈总是勤劳的干活.我爱我的父母.
在星期六和星期天里,我经常去图书馆和弹钢琴.我爸爸去打篮球.有时侯,我们都在家看电视和听音乐.
我爱我家.因为我和爸爸妈妈一起生活得很开心!
Lan and Fred
Lan and Fred were boys. They were both twelve years old, and they were in the same class in their school. Last Friday afternoon they had a fight in class, and their teacher was very angry. He said to both of them, “Stay here after the lessons this afternoon, and write your names a thousand times.” After the last lesson, all the other boys went home, but Lan and Fred stayed in the classroom with their teacher and begin writing their names.
Then Fred began crying.
The teacher looked at him and said,” Why are you crying, Fred?”
“Because his name’s Lan May, and mine’s Frederick Hollingsworth,” Fred said.
易恩和富雷得
易恩和富雷得都是男孩，他们都十二岁了。他们在学校里是同班同学。上周五下午他们在学校里打了一架。为此老师很生气。老师对他们说：“下午下课后留在着把你们的名字写一千遍。”
最后一节课下课，所有的学生都回家了。只有易恩和富雷得被他们的老师留在教师里抄写他们的名字。
接着富雷得哭了起来。
老师看了看他问：“富雷得，你为什么要哭呢？”
“因为他的名字是Lan May, 而我的名字确是Frederick Hollingsworth，”富雷得回答道。
Ann’s Diary
Today was Sunday. Today was September 30th, 2004. It was a boring day. It was hot. I was not a work.
I watched TV all morning. The shows were boring. Then I called my friend, Nancy. She wasn’t at home. I didn’t know where she was.
At twelve I was hungry. There was not any food in the fridge. I was lazy. I was tired. Then I ate lunch outside. At one o’clock. I was in bed. In the afternoon I was at the movies. The film was boring. I'm glad tomorrow is Monday. I can go to school and see my friends.
安的日记
今天是星期天，2004年9月30日。这是令人厌烦的一天。今天天气很热，我呆在家里，不用去上学。
我看了一上午的电视。电视节目和无聊。于是我给好朋友南西打电话，可她不在家。我不知道她去哪里了。
十二点我饿了，可是冰箱里什么食物都没有。我很懒惰，也很劳累，于是我出去吃了午饭。一点我上床睡觉。下午我去了电影院。电影很无聊。很高兴明天就是星期一了，我有可以返回学校见到我的好朋友了。
Notice
To all the teachers and students in Grade 7,
This afternoon, all the students in Grade 7 will go to the West Hill to plant trees. We'll take a bus there, and make sure to gather at the school gate at 2pm. Don't be late.
The school office
March 18th, 2006
告示
今天下午七年级全体同学要乘车去西山(West Hill)植树(plant trees).请2:00准时在校门口集合
或者
watermelon is many people's favorite. it is sweet and it has a lot of water. watermelon has two colors, green outside and red inside. people usually have watermelons in summer. but nowadays we can eat watermelon every season in the year.
西瓜
西瓜是很多人喜欢的食物。它很甜而且水量多。西瓜的颜色，外面是绿的里面是红的。人们以往通常在夏天才吃西瓜，但现在一年的每个季节我们都可以吃到西瓜了。
Inside the Russian Embassy in London a KGB colonel puffed a cigarette as he read the handwritten note for the third time. There was no need for the writer to express regret, he though. Correcting this problem would be easy. He would do that in a moment. The thought of it caused a grim smile to appear and joy to his heart. But he pushed away those thoughts and turned his attention to a framed photograph on his desk. His wife was beautiful, he told himself as he remembered the day they were married. That was forty-three years ago, and it had been the proudest and happiest day of his life.
在伦敦的俄国使馆，一位克格勃上校一边吞云吐雾，一边读着一张手写的字条，这已是他第三次在读这张字条了。便条的作者不必表示遗憾了，上校这样想着。纠正这个错误其实很容易。他只要一会儿工夫便会做到。想到这里，他的脸上不禁浮现出一种可怕的笑容，他内心深处既伤感而又快活。上校从沉思中游离出来，将注意力集中到桌子上的一个像框上，他的妻子是位美丽的女人，当想起他们成婚的那一天时他不禁自语道。那已是43年前的事情了，可却是他一生中最自豪最幸福的日子。
What had happened to all that time? Why had it passed so quickly, and why hadn't he spent more of it with her? Why hadn't he held her close and told her more often that he loved her? He cursed himself as a tear came from the corner of his eye, ran down his cheek, then dropped onto the note. He stiffened and wiped his face with the back of his hand. There was no need for remorse or regret, he told himself. In a few moments he would join her and at that time would express his undying love and devotion.
那些时候都发生了什么？为什么时光流逝得如此之快？为什么他没能将更多的时光用来陪伴她？为什么他没能将她搂紧，更多次地告诉她他爱她？他于是开始诅咒起自己，泪水也忍不住夺眶而出，流过面颊，最后滴落在字条上。这时，他板起了面孔，用手背揩去了眼泪。已经没有必要来自责与悔恨了，他对自己说道。很快他不就会与她团聚了吗？到那时，他将再向她表达他永恒的爱与忠心。
After setting the note ablaze he dropped it into an ashtray and watched it burn. For a time the names cast moving shadows on the walls of the darkened room, then they nickered and died out. The colonel dropped the cigarette to the floor and ground it out with his heel, then clutched the photograph to his breast, removed a pistol from his pocket, placed the barrel in his mouth and pulled the trigger. In the ashtray a small portion of the note remained. Where it had been wetted by his tear it had failed to bum, and on that scrap of paper were the words "died yesterday."
他点燃了字条，将它扔进了烟灰缸中，看着它慢慢地燃烧起来。在火苗的映衬下，这间漆黑的屋子里的四壁一时变得影影绰绰。不一会儿，火苗成了星星点点，渐渐地熄灭了。上校把香烟扔在了地板上，用后脚跟碾灭，随后抓起照片放在自己的胸前。他从衣兜中掏出了一把手枪，将枪筒放进自己的嘴中，接着扣动扳机。在烟灰缸中还残留着一小片字条，由于被上校的泪水浸湿而未能燃尽。在这块残片上有这样几个字“昨天去世”。
Five Fantastic Mascots 精彩绝伦五福娃
Five Olympic mascots were unveiled exatly 1000 days before the Beiling Olympic opening ceremony . The long--anticipated mascots feature four of China's most popular animals--the fish,the panda,the Tibrtan antelope and the swallow .The fifth mascot is the brightly burning Olympic flame.
Each of the mascots has a repeated two-syllable name. This type of name is a traditional way of showing affection for children in China.BeiBei is the fish,JingJing is the panda , HuanHuan is the Olympic flame,YingYing is the Tibetan antelope and NiNi is the swallow.When their names are put together---they say "Welcome to Beijing".
The five elements of nature,including the sea,forest,fire,earth and sky are found in the mascot's origins and headpieces. These special headpieces also display the uniqur folk and culture of China. Each mascot also symbolizes a different blessing ---prosperity,happiness,passion,health and good luck.
It is the first time more than three mascots will share the important duty of representing their host country .Han Meilin,chief of the mascot design team explained that ,"China has such a profound and diversified culture that no single mascot could possibly represent it !That is why we chose to produce five mascots instesd of one
翻译：
正值北京奥运会开幕式前整整一千天之际，五个奥运会吉祥物揭开了神秘的面纱。人们翘首以待的奥运吉祥物代表了中国最受欢觃的四种动物——鱼、熊猫、藏羚羊及燕子。第五个吉祥物是熊熊燃烧的奥运圣火。
每个吉祥物都有一个叠音名字。在中国，叠音名字是对孩子们表示喜爱的一种传统方式。贝贝代表鱼，晶晶代表熊猫，欢欢代表奥运圣火，觃觃代表藏羚羊，而妮妮代表燕子。把他们的名字放在一起就是“北京欢觃您！”
吉祥物的訽形及头饰充分体现了包括大海、蒧林、火、大地及天空在内的大自然的五大元素。这些特别的头饰也充分展示了中国的民间艺术及传统文化。每一个吉祥物也代表着不同的祝福——繁荣、欢乐、激情、健康和好运。
这是第一次有三个以上的吉祥物共同承担代表东道国的重任。吉祥物设计组组长韩美林解释说：“中国有如此博大精深的文化，不是一个吉祥物就能完全展示出来的。所以我们选择设计出五个而不是一个的吉祥物。
Keep Your Direction 坚持你的方向
What would you do if you failed? Many people may choose to give up. However, the surest way to success is to keep your direction and stick to your goal.
On your way to success, you must keep your direction. It is just like a lamp, guiding you in darkness and helping you overcome obstacles on your way. Otherwise, you will easily get lost or hesitate to go ahead.
Direction means objectives. You can get nowhere without an objective in life.
You can try to write your objective on paper and make some plans to achieve it. In this way, you will know how to arrange your time and to spend your time properly. And you should also have a belief that you are sure to succeed as long as you keep your direction all the time.
翻译：
如果失败了你会怎么做？很多人可能会选择放弃。然而，要想成功，最可靠的方法就是坚持你的方向和目标。
在通往成功的路上，你必须坚持你的方向。它就像一盏灯，在黑暗中为你指路，帮助你度过难关。否则，你很容易就会迷失方向或犹豫不前。
方向意味着目标。人生如果没有目标，将一事无成。
你可以试着把你的目标写在纸上，并制定实现目标的计划。这样，你就会懂得如何合理安排时间，如何正确地支配时间。而且你还要有这样的信念：只要你一直坚持自己的方向，你就一定可以成功。
2。Today Mailehaoduo clothes, and parents take to the streets is happy, the parents have to pay to buy things. Unlike in their street to buy things they like to take a long time but saw the price, Ha-ha, is really very happy. I love my parents, I too thank them for the care and love. `` 今天买了好多衣服，和父母上街就是愉快，买东西有父母帮付钱。不像平时自己上街买东西碰到喜欢的但看了价钱都要考虑好久，呵呵，真的是很开心。我爱我的父母，太感谢他们对我的关心和爱戴了。
3.Flute " Robinson Crusoe " of good fortune, novelist of British, describe protagonist drift about on the island, overcome the difficulty, the legend story of pioneering an enterprise with painstaking efforts. Novel write true naturally, legendary. The protagonist plants the crops on the detached island, puts up the log cabin, has eaten the innumerable trials and tribulations, survive. Want, go back human world anxious, want to go how about go out of these damnable place only like make him to be fascinated, result fail, get back to, long separated for Britain for 28 year give me enlightenment by " Robinson's records of adventure " on 1868 year finally, tanacity of him let me wait for a chance to cause trouble, want, march toward another goal for life, look like Robinson like that spend one's own strength,reach ideal realm one's own. We need possess Robinson so spirit of struggle diligently.
英国小说家笛福的《鲁滨逊漂流记》描述了主人公漂流海岛,战胜困难,艰苦创业的传奇故事. 小说写得真实自然,富有传奇色彩.主人公在孤岛上种庄稼,搭木屋,吃了千辛万苦,生存下来.但想回人间的心切,使他着迷般地只想到如何走出这个鬼地方,结果还是失败了,最后于1868年回到阔别28年的英国
《鲁滨孙漂流记》给我以启示，他的顽强让我蠢蠢欲动，想要迈向人生的另一目标，像鲁滨孙那样用自己的力量，到达自己理想的境界。
我们需要具备鲁滨逊那样的刻苦奋斗的精神.
The World's Greatest Swordsman
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.
"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"
"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."
世界上最伟大的击剑手
在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来，剑划了一个弧，他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默，人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。
他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来－－然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标，然而他还在微笑着。
“你为什么这么高兴？”有人嚷道，“你没击中!”
“啊，”剑手答道，“你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着，是的－－但他永远也做不成爸爸了。”
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A Mistake
An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."
"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.
"Where are the others?" asked a medic.
"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."
搞错了
一位美国人，一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生。他们到达天堂的门口。在那里，醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了。“每人给我五百美元，”他说，“我将把你们送回人间，就象什么都没有发生过一样。”
“成交!”美国人说。立刻，他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近。
“其他人在哪儿？”一名医生问道。
“我离开之前，”那名美国人说，“我看见英格兰人正在砍价，而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱。”
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Pig or Witch
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.
猪还是女巫
一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪！！”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫！！”他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
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Response Ability
An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."
Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
答问技巧
衣阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币。别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时，牧师答道：“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法。”
当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时，他答道：“当然不会。毕竟，我可能会是错的。”
一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅？”
获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”
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Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.
"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"
伟大的猎手Jonesie
有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。
猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只羊然后把头皮给他。把羊皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。
半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。
“Jonesie，怎么了？狮子在哪？”村长问。
“哪有狮子！”猎人怒吼道，“哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了？”
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Weather Predict
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.
A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."
天气预报
一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.
一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.
"印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.
几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.
最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"
印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了."
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I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
我要表现得象位女士
一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。
他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。
“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”
“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”
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15069097798…… [答案] The Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子 A PIGEON,oppressed by excessive thirst,saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard.Not supposing it to be only a picture,she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard,jarring herself ...
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